I've been kicking around this thought for a few weeks, but it really hit home yesterday while talking to a client who was experiencing significant stress at work. We were discussing various options he could take to cope with work, but the reality of it was, that the work environment was largely going to stay the same. It was beyond his control to create any change in the short to medium term. So we started to discuss his interests outside of work. And that's where we realised

That's the hard choice. Choosing to use strategies like meditation, which takes longer, but is more fulfilling than avoidance through drugs

Last week I was feeling very strung out. My wife, being the very observant person she is, informed me that I was spending far too much time with my head looking down at my phone and seemed "disconnected" and it was time for a phone ban. She asked how productive at work I was being - knowing full well there was a huge pile of "to-do" tasks sitting on my desk. The truth stung. But it was true - I was procrastinating. Endlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram multiple t

Sometimes 8/10 is a good enough score. That's because 10/10 is really hard to maintain. Sure, you can get 10/10 scores. But to consistently get them, that is tough. Not many people can do that. Yet, people with clinical perfectionism constantly strive for 10/10 results or performances. And by 10/10, what I mean is that the score is relative to that person - it doesn't have to be the best in the world or 100% perfect - but it has to be of a high standard for that person or it

I uttered this question "do you even know how to breathe?" mid-session with a client. Actually, I said "do you know how to breathe properly?", which is a nicer way of saying what I was thinking, but making the same point. My client, and many other clients that I have seen over the years, was demonstrating difficulty breathing properly, by breathing too quickly and essentially hyperventilating. As a result, he was maintaining the anxious feeling he was experiencing by throwing

Sounds silly right? How could slowing down make you more productive? Well, I can tell you from real life example of how that works. But firstly, I'll give you a little history. "Each thing I do, I rush through so I can do something else" - Stephen Dobyns I first read this quote in a Stephen King book some 10 years ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. I found myself relaying this quote to several people this week, so I thought this was an ample opportunity to write more a

Lately I've been talking to my clients here at Grove Psychology about hats. That seems a strange conversation to be having with your psychologist, but hear me out. I mean metaphorical hats or the roles that we play in our lives. This particularly applies to parents - we are often devoted to our children, making sure they have a good routine, get to bed on time, brush their teeth, eat their greens, get to sporting activities and so on, that there isn't much room for anything e

Many of us have returned to work over the last week or so after the Christmas and New Year break, with Christmas this year giving us a 4 day holiday and the opportunity to extend that with only a few annual leave days used up. The Christmas and New Year period is often a time for reflection of the past year and developing goals for the next year. It's also a time where a lot of people are talking about returning to work or having time off, and the thought of returning to work

It's about this time of the year that the most common conversation throughout the day with my clients is around Christmas, and how stressful they find Christmas day. I've already heard about the travel plans on the day from one family to the next, and of course, the family dynamics that come out to play. This is something I've contemplated for a few years, until it dawned on me recently that a lot of the problems we face on Christmas day come down to old patterns of behaviour

The topic in my office in the last couple of weeks has been around change. I've had a few clients be incredibly brave and admit they have been avoiding tasks that will ultimately lead them to have a more positive life. It got us to talk about change and uncomfortability. "Change is a word for a journey with stress. You get the journey and you get the stress. At the end, you're a different person. But both elements are part of the deal." - Seth Godin. Seth sums it up nicely -

I attended a workshop several years ago and the presenter said "every behaviour serves a function". This phrase has stuck with me since then, particularly when discussing with clients during therapy some of the more unhelpful behaviours they may be using in order to cope with distress or symptoms of anxiety or depression. These unhelpful behaviours can be extreme or obvious such as using drugs and alcohol, or self-harm; to less obvious behaviours such as never voicing an opin

Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling upbeat and energised, you are more likely to go out and do activities or accept invites from friends? Have you noticed that when you are doing lots of activities, you feel more energised and can do more tasks? Or the opposite, have you noticed that if you are feeling lethargic you tend to decline invites and normally enjoyable activities feel like a chore? Have you noticed that the less you do, the more fatigued you feel? Well,

Stress at work is one of the more common reasons for presenting to a psychologist. If you think about it, we spend about a third of our time awake at work. Therefore it makes sense that work can play a significant part in our mental well-being. There are a range of work pressures that can lead to stress including: workplace culture expectations of working long hours or working through breaks excessive or unrealistic targets overwork or underwork poor communication from collea

Perfectionism and anxiety November 15, 2016 With the year 12s just completing their exams, and university and year 10 and 11 students about to start their exams, I think it's timely to discuss perfectionism and its role in anxiety. What is Perfectionism? Despite how it sounds, perfectionism is not about having perfect marks in an exam or assignment, or completing tasks perfectly. Rather, perfectionism involves setting standards that are relatively too high or difficult to ach