Do you unconsciously "test" your partner to see their commitment to you? Do you find yourself in "push/pull" relationships where you want your partner emotionally close to you, but then push them away because it's uncomfortable? When you start dating someone, do you find after a period of time that you close off from them, looking for faults, or engaging in behaviour that in hindsight would end the relationship? If you answered yes to any of these questions, perhaps you are e

The topic of discussion in my office at Grove Psychology with my clients this week has been about how they think others will perceive them. It's something I've heard a lot over the years that I've been working as a psychologist. For some people, they become very concerned that they may have done something wrong or offended their friends, or that if they voice their own opinions, that they will lose their friends. They may spend hours laying in bed replaying in their head conv

It's about this time of the year that the most common conversation throughout the day with my clients is around Christmas, and how stressful they find Christmas day. I've already heard about the travel plans on the day from one family to the next, and of course, the family dynamics that come out to play. This is something I've contemplated for a few years, until it dawned on me recently that a lot of the problems we face on Christmas day come down to old patterns of behaviour

I attended a workshop several years ago and the presenter said "every behaviour serves a function". This phrase has stuck with me since then, particularly when discussing with clients during therapy some of the more unhelpful behaviours they may be using in order to cope with distress or symptoms of anxiety or depression. These unhelpful behaviours can be extreme or obvious such as using drugs and alcohol, or self-harm; to less obvious behaviours such as never voicing an opin

I’m going to suggest something controversial here. As parents we are often looking for ways to help manage our children’s behaviour. Programs such as Magic 1-2-3 and Triple P are fantastic and I’ve even written about ways to manage our children’s behaviour on this blog. However, we rarely look at ourselves and how we as parents fit in the dynamic system that is our family, and how we might impact on how our children react and behave. Let me give you an example: have you ever

The continual rise of technology has presented a set of unique challenges for today's parents. The use of technology and devices are so common today, you'd be hard pressed to find a family that does not have some sort of device in their home. Schools have also adopted the use of technology in classrooms from smartboards, to the use of tablets, and even submitting work online. It is impossible for parents to outlaw their children from the use of technology; however, I would en

You may have seen the viral video from Simon Sinek discussing the "millennial question", and what has been bluntly described as 'what is wrong with kids these days'. If you haven't seen it, it's well worth watching as discusses a variety of issues, including the impact of technology on connecting with others. However, what is interesting is his discussion of 'failed parenting' which he describes as over emphasising praise in order to build up the child's self-esteem. This lea

Here's a great picture of my then two year old daughter, having a tantrum while we tried to take a family photo on the famous Spanish Steps in Rome. Despite all our attempts to encourage her to pose quickly for a photo, she refused and now we have this fantastic photo moment. This photo attempt was shortly after our attempt to get a photo of her inside the Colosseum, which she proceeded to bat away the camera as if we were the paparazzi, all the while crying and refusing to w